I'm done.

I want to write something cause I know it'll make me feel better but I can't. 

I can't because all I want to do is complain about things which could be much worse and therefore I have no reason, no right to complain. 

And I thought I was doing such a great job...

Nissan

Shift the future
into today
into the distance
of a thousand hoorays

Shift existance
into the fact
that what happened yesterday
will never come back

Shift fragmented feelings
into drops of clay
Hold them as your own
to re-shape and destroy

Shift the future
into tomorrow
tidal waves of hope
smothered in horror

Shift and glance
Dance the dance
Shift the shiftless
Because it don't mind

I frequently daydream of touching the back of your head. I remember the feeling of your hair.
I don't do it as much as I'd like to.

Paris

París still exists

While I'm sitting here 

At the beauty parlor thing

Paris and Siria

And all the other countries 

That I don't see on the news

Pray for Paris

Joke

Selfie

Don't pray for Paris

Advertisement 

Joke

Joke

Don't pray for Paris

Selfie

Pray for Paris

Sometimes I feel like saying something about this. 

Mostly I just wonder what drives people to do this kinds of things

What they're like on a daily basis...

Do they have cereal for breakfast? 

And how do they find each other? 

If I wanted to fashion my own bomb would I be able to find out how to do it? 

#byob 

Let's all pray for Paris

Or not 

Let's all change out profile picture

Let's all tell the world that we don't appreciate their bombings and such 

Because maybe it's just a missunderstanding...

Maybe whoever did this thinks that this is really neat

And then when he checks our FB profiles he will be disappointed. Like 

"aw man... I think I messed up... Apparently this is not what they wanted!"

I'm not even trying to mock all those who did change their FB profile picture. 

Or who shared their thoughts on the idea...

It's just that I feel that this has always happened

"it was always burning 

Since the world's been turning "

But now... It kinda feels like you can't just ignore it. 

You have to acknowledge it at some point. 

As I am doing

Writing this

Wondering 

If there's something else 

Something actually useful...

That someone somewhere could do. 

And what would that be? 

Seriously...

What would that be? 

I'm not bitter. Why would you say that?

Well I can't say whether if I was born bitter or if it grew on me
But it makes me happy to be able to select, with whom and where I want to be.

And yes, it's true...
whenever Christmas draws near
sourness just starts oozing out of me

So, No.

I have no interest in your Christmas ornaments and your Christmas lights
I don't really care about your dinner party or what the weather's like
I do not want to bring presents for people I don't know
I fail to see why I should feel excited about going home with a rubber duck

Until any of this means something to me, this lack of interest will only expand...

From toddler parties to baby showers
From end of year reunions to new year celebrations
From bachelorette parties to informal office gatherings

So, No. Forgive me if I feel parties are a drag.

I attended plenty of parties when I was younger. I had fun.
We danced. We drank. We sang. We talked.
We talked about the things that we thought we would do.
We talked because no one told us that there was something we needed to proove
We talked about how we felt and what we thought
Because at that time we didn't have much else to do

Excuse me if I do not have fun at parties anymore.

Perhaps if you acknowledged that they're not even meant for fun

They're meant to drink that expensive wine you bought
To include appetizers and a main course
Don't you forget to throw in a very attractive dessert
so that we can all ask you
" Wow, did you do it yourself?"

Because we can't just pop open a bag of chips
And ask people to chip in for another six
We're not teenagers, you see?
We don't get together to have fun.

We get together to "Catch Up"
I'm sorry we're adults
we've been too busy to meet up

Well maybe, I don't want to catch up.
Maybe I don't want to tell you how much of an adult I've become

So excuse me
Adult friends of my own

If I am not ecstatic
'bout spending 25 bucks on a meal
Which
didn't
even
include
wine
that
is

Excuse me if I see no difference between Gorgonzola and Blue Cheese
And if I don't want to stay up until 2 am
drinking fancy cocktails
wondering why I came

Excuse me dear old friends
If you grew up and while I tried to stay the same

And I'm truly sorry to see
That the pleasure of my company is no longer enough for you
You need to spice it up
You need to add ornaments and stuff
Expensive tickets,  first row seats
To a show that I don't want to see

Tanto Cuanto

Tantas historias quedan por contar
Cuantas historias quedan por contar

Cuantas personas por conocer
Tantos caminos por recorrer

Cuanto he esperado este momento
Tanto tiempo sin pensar en ti

Cuanta ira me he guardado
Ira y odio
Mucho odio

Tanto odio en mi corazón

Pero no existe más

Cuantas sonrisas
Tantas memorias
Destruidas

Estas palabras son el Diablo.

Lo que pasa

Nada pasa

Hasta que pasa algo

Entonces

Pasa todo

Gorgeous

So...

One time he referred to me as gorgeous. 

Later on I realized that word didn't mean what I think it did.

I found it in the textbook by coincidence. 

It was a great day. 

Falafel

Do you remember?
When you took me to a falafel place because you knew I liked falafel
And It turned out you had even looked for different restaurant options

It was neat then, but it is even neater now

As if the present could bring back the past
As if the present could take us to the future

I remember the past
Crumbs of positive reinforment
the path of -now-

Tiny Self Loathing Monday.

You brought this upon yourself, you know.
With your stupid SAD and your maniac female hormones
with your imaginary expectations
and your idiotic smiles.

You brought this upon yourself,
with all the words you have to say
and all the YOU that you need to be.

I wish I could be someone else
someone who doesn't feel all the time
someone who can casually think about football.

I'm so fucking mad at myself.
Get a grip.
We will not go on like this. You hear me?
I refuse to live like this.
I will not live like this again.

I won't. Not even for a day.

I Quit. (Almost).

I'm done. I quit.
I've had it with schools that insist on having wonderful textbooks that I have to cover in only weeks.

WEEKS PEOPLE!

WEEKS

I'm done trying to teach the past  and present perfect, simple and continous in 4 days.

This is ridiculous.

But mark my words.
The day will come when I will freaking choose my own textbooks and I WON'T tell other teachers how much they have to cover in 4 weeks.

And if I ever do.
That will be the day
When I will lose all my good luck.

In the end.

I should have been a guy.
I would have been a great guy.
People would meet me and then say " Hey, Have you Met Natalio? He's a great guy! Isn't he?"

But I'm not. I'm a woman.

It's mostly cool. It has its advantages.
But somedays...
Like today
I'm done with it. I'm done.

I swear that,  today , I've been through all the possible human emotions ever named.
And some other that have not yet been named.

I read your messages,
They make me happy, then they make me mad.
They make me feel excited, then they make me feel scared.
I think about it.
I'm cool with it. I'm cool. I'm pleased. I'm relaxed.
No I'm not. I'm upset. I'm raging mad.
Now I'm hopeful. I'm glad.
Next I'm guilty. I'm sorry. I'm off-track.
I'm back. I'm relieved. I'm dignified.

But in the end.
I'm just miserable.

I miss you miserably instead.
That's all there is. This is it.

And I can't have that.
It's Sunday and I can't have all of these inide me at the same time.

Sneezing Worries

You should never sneeze
while holding a pen in your mouth
You should never do it because it hurts a lot
and people will give you disapproving looks
of you you managed to spread your virus and bacteria
not only to the front but also sideways

But if you ever do sneeze
while holding a pen in your mouth
I suggest you laugh about it
And take a second to wonder
exactly what you're so worried about

Perhaps something so ridiculous
will be a useful solution
when you need to realize
how ridiculous all your worries are.

Tópicos

I know the day will come
What is taught
will only be
what one is taught to choose

There won't be anymore vocabulary lessons
or grammar misconceptions

I'll teach students how to write.

A strong topic sentence
Which they will underline

And if I'm lucky maybe I'll find a way to stop them from writing all of their sentences like this one because it's important for them to avoid run-on sentences because run-on sentences are very hard for the reader to understand and I wonder how come they have never noticed that you can't write sentences like this one in real life, maybe it's because they think that no one will ever read whatever it is that they wrote.

Maybe it's just that they're not reading enough.

Hell, I'll do that too!  I'll make them read. And then we'll have a class discussion . Then we'll probably an essay about it. And finally, if all goes well, we'll find some kind of lecture, in which the same topic is discussed.

Seriously. That's all I really need.

I also want to take this moment to thank all my English teachers in High School.
I might not remember your names, but I remember your faces. I remember the tone of your voice and those little notes that you wrote on my research papers, essays and reports.
The same notes I write on my students essays now...

I remember Melissa Mc. Coy who didn't get mad at me when I confessed that I hadn't read the book that she assigned. I said that it would be a waste of time for both of us if I tried to answer the exam. She said "Thank you for being honest".  Those words echo in my mind at various random times.

I remember that one teacher with curly hair who would climb up on his chair and whistle really loud to get everyone to stop talking and sit down. I remember that he gave me a 90 instead of a 100 on my speech because I forgot the "realia" for it in my backpack. I had to stop talking to get it.
It was a toothbrush. I remember it clearly.
And never since that day, have I forgotten something in my backpack.

I remember that other teacher who was 1/4 Native American who couldn't pronounce Alejandro Suro's name. She said that my research paper was so well written that it had to be plagiarized.
But it wasn't.
I was offended at that time. Now I can see that's one of the best compliments anyone has ever given me in my life.

I remember that one teacher who was new. We were in the last semester. She thought that asking us to write a research paper every week was a perfectly normal thing to do. I clearly remember how surprised she was when she got the first batch. She said, "Do you always write like this? I was just expecting a short opinion about the topic we discussed".
And we all proudly said "This is how they taught us how to write. This is what a research paper should look like."
Then she asked us to write a commentary every week.
And things worked really well between us afterwards.
She even drew a picture of Enrique Iglesias on my paper once.

But most of all,  I want to thank Nico.

Nico was the first American teacher I ever had. He sat on the desk, He cursed in class.He let us come in late. He let us get out early. It seemed that he was a living monument to everything easy-going.
But then one day he said, "Let's see if you can write."

It was a massacre.

And from then on he knew what he had to do.
He did it well, no doubt.

You all did.
You will never know how much I appreciate you.
Thank You.

My new pet

Meet my new pet

I'm calling him
----------unemotional regret
It's not a goat
It's not a toad
It's just that feeling
----------down your throat

It's void, blank and empty
It's nothing and it's all

It's automatic
Semi-static
Self concious
and
Pristine

It's ecstatic
----------half the time
but at night
----------it always cries

Well,  have I got no soul? He says
No. You changed it for control.

See, souls are way too unstable
Unreliable and brusque
We need a pet who's able
To gain everyone's trust

Something like
An eagle
------A donut
-------------or a car!

Something that in pictures
is impressive to the eye

Something that you touch
you slap or beat or knock

Something that's so real
that needs no questions asked

Meet my new pet
my deepest apprehension
forgetfulness of terror
The spirit of outrage

I need to feel
existance and frustration

I need to fear
silence condonation

I need to know
that I have a soul

I need some proof
that this is true

Meet my new pet
He's nearly dead

A few days should suffice
Then I'll put him on some ice

I'll shiver through
I'll feel all blue

I'll give my life for you

Single Dancing

Today

Was a great day

Single dancing 

Power trance

Jump kick dash

Duck duck slide

Unseen

Careless 

Revealed

Feel like this forever

I guess that's what YOLO is about.

BEC Vantage

¿Podemos hoy hablar de la ley de Parkinson's?
No Parkinson's la enfermedad.

Si no ésta ley:

'Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.'

La razón casi científica de porque algunas peronas, como yo, dejamos todo al último.

Cómo este syllabus que resulta que tengo que escribir para mañana. 
Bueno, en realidad no tendría que... Siempre se puede usar la primera clase para esas cosas de: 
"Qué expectativas tienes para esta clase?"
"Qué carrera estás estudiando y cómo te ves en 10 años?"
"Platica con tu compañero y cuéntanos algo interesante que aprendiste sobre él". 

Y estoy ahora, escribiendo esto, para preguntarme si vale la pena invertir tiempo en eso.
O si es mejor empezar con la clase. 

Cuando yo estudiaba siempre me gustaba empezar con la clase desde el primer día.
Pero no sé si para algunos alumnos es overwhelming.

No sé cuantos alumnos tengo. A qué salón tengo que ir...

Y estoy escribiendo todo esto aquí porque llevaba como un mes pensando en esto. Pero lo pensaba de forma muy abstracta... nada era seguro ni nada. Hasta ahora. Y aún ahora... pienso que podría dejarlo para mañana en la mañana y no pasaría nada.

'If you wait until the last minute, it only takes a minute to do.'

Pero no lo haré.

Lo único que sé de este curso es que estos chavos tienen que presentar el BEC Vantage y que dura 90 horas.

Así que haré algo con eso.

Dear Dr. Krashen,

You are truly inspiring, you know that?
I'm embarrased to say I haven't read any of your books entirely.

But everything you said today about coffee, reading and writing made perfect sense.
I would also like to thank you for including some Grammar and acknowledging our right to be Grammar Nazi Freaks.

While I heard you I couldn't stop thinking about two things:
1. I don't want to watch Desperate Housewives anymore. It's probabably destroying more brain cells more than I initially estimated.
I wonder if you've watched MLP. If you haven't you should. I think you would appreciate it.

2. I should appreciate comic books more, shouldn't I?

Well no. Apparently I thought of some other things as well...

I kept wondering what you meant when you gave so many tips about writing. It's not like we're writers, you know? I wondered if you meant any of these:
a) "Just go and write on your blog!"
b) "Just go and write to Iain!"
c) "Just go and write your lesson plans!"

I want to believe that you meant at least one of them. I'd like to think I'm on the right path, you see?

En cualquier caso, estoy haciendo esto mal porque usted dijo que debería escribir en mi idioma nativo. Seguro que tiene razón porque escribir en Español es más difícil. Y seguro que es difícil porque nunca lo he hecho.

I don't think I could work the way you do. With those little mindless tasks to prevent writers block. For some reason though, as I listened to you I kept coming up with all these art project ideas.

I don't know how much I can alternate between been artsy and writing Exam Academy stuff.
Between reading Novels and Reading the "How to teach a Business English Course" handbook.

In any case, thank you for making me wonder about such things and giving me a possible good reason to come and write them. Perhaps someday I will write an article. Or a book.

Perhaps someday someone will ask me for my autograph.

And I will be nice to them. As you were nice to us.

Thank you for coming.

Wonderfully sorry.

I'm happy I met you. Happy is a terrible word to even start describing the way I feel. I feel like someone took out a piece of my rib cage and replaced it with this unknown material.

Which makes me smile and cry intermittently. 

I'm sorry I disrespected your process. 

It wasn't until I came back home and I lied in my bed that I was able to understand that what I did was wrong. 

I also hope you can understand that I process things faster than most people. And I had been thinking about you for a long time without being able to tell you about it. 

This is the first time ever in my life that I've had to keep feelings to myself. 

The first time I'm able to understand the importance of keeping things to yourself.  

The value of holding back. 

And when I felt that I didn't have to hold back anymore I got carried away. I didn't want to stop. I didn't even know how to stop. 

Still, I don't know how to tell you this. I dont know if I should bring it up. I dont know if it will make things worse. I have no idea what I should do or not do when it comes to you. 

And that is a wonderfully frightening feeling. 

I was wrong. If all humans were like me saying what they feel and doing what they feel like doing all the time... 

No more drops of sweat would ever run down no one's back. 

No hearts would break and no hearts would feel alive. 

No one would day dream of their significant other all the time. 

And because of you, I now understand that I don't want to live in a world like that. 

I want to learn how to take my time.

Wind of change.

And I have changed since I met you  no doubt

I have changed in the sense that I can no longer say what I think all the time

I have changed in the sense that I've got something to lose.

And in the thesaurus I look for new words I can use

Not to impress you I guess,  but to show somehow that I look up to you

I have also convinced myself that age is not important

I'm not very good at convincing myself

And I no longer want to get married

How that connects to you I have no clue

I'm afraid that my words might come off as offensive. Or romantic. Or sarcastic or everything I just mentioned at the same time.

I'm also afraid that by trying so hard to keep this from happening my words come off as plain and uninterested.

I don't know which would be worse.

I'm afraid that we're talking too much. I'm afraid that we're not talking enough.

I'm afraid all the time and when I first met you I never was.

And that weird feeling that, for some reason, you will never write back.

7 de Julio 2015

El 7 de Julio a la 1:18 me doy cuenta de que
no creo que haya mas momentos sensuales.

El 7 de Julio a la 1:19 me digo a mi misma que nada va a ser diferente hoy.
Todo será como ha sido el último año.

Tranquilamente tranquilo.

Un año lleno de mí y de nadie más.

A la 1:21, cómo tantas otras veces lo he hecho, me pregunto lo que siento.
Sigue siendo la 1:21 cuando me doy cuenta de que no es realmente importante.

A la 1:22 recuerdo cuando lo besé por última vez y me pregunto si en verdad esa será la última vez que lo besé. Para siempre.

A la 1:23 me asusta pensar en eso pero contemplo la posibilidad de que sea cierto.

Y si es así.

Me quedó contenta de saber que ese momento será mio para siempre.

Independence Day

En unos días

Un año será. 

Y solamente quería que quedará claro

Que no he olvidado

Si no que lo he almacenado

En esos estantes

De la memoria a largo plazo

He almacenado lo que fue

Muchas veces son recuerdos tristes. No se porque. 

En ese entonces nada parecía ser triste. 

Los Estados Unidos celebra hoy

Su día de la independencia 

En unos días será el aniversario del día de mi independencia 

Que quede claro que nunca me sentí bajo el yugo

No. 

No es la independencia de nadie en especial.

Si no del día que entendí 

Que no necesitaba estar con alguien para estar completa.

Leave this alone

How I feel about feeling
is inversely related to how I feel about my invisible freedom

where everyone thinks I'm free to do as I please
except me

where everything seems menacing.

And whatever I've got today I'm not willing to gamble tomorrow.

I don't f***g  know how to write in Spanish anymore.

I'm gonnna leave this alone.

Leave this alone.

I'll check back on Monday. When I'll be busy enough and then I'll be lonely enough and then on Wednesday. I have to send you your stuff on Wednesday so you get it on time.

Now I'll try and see if there's something in particular I feel like doing with my life for the next six months or so.

And I'll just have to live with it.

And I'll just have to live with it.

It's funny how I want people to read this and at the same time I'm worried that reading it will scare them away.
Well, you know? I can't worry about people running away from me or nt running away from me.

This is who I am.

This is what I came with.

With some extra pounds that I need to lose.
And a mouth that has no filter
With certain art entrapped inside of me
And through a blog I've found
that I can let go of things
or grab on to them harder

So I will have a place to write the things that I want to say

but shouldn't

I often wonder if just thinking about it counts as dreadful.

So if someone reads something here and
understands
and knows
who and what I'm talking about.
And because of that they walk away from me.

I'll just have to live with it.

But I'd rather have that.
Than keeping this to myself
And then getting cancer when I'm 45.

So if you go back home
and we start talking but then realize that we can't talk like we used to anymore
At least I'll have this.
I'll have written proof
of how important you once were to me
or, as described in another post, always will be.

We never made any promises. We never will.
Because promises depend on too many things that are beyond our control.
It would be irresponsible to make them.

As it is irresponsible, yet unavoidable, to have expectations
As it would be irresponsible to tell you the things I think about sometimes.

Like I don't see how I could suddenly lose interest in you when I think about you  so much.
It's a weird feeling that I can't define which makes me smile whenever I remember we're going to talk soon.

Or if I were to tell you that my life is honestly better with you in it.
Or how I keep creating this imaginary situations with you in them.

No, no, no. I can't publish this. I'm too scared you'll see it. I'll have to set the blog to private again.
DAMMIT.

I'm too scared of losing you . I don't want to go back to life without you. I don't.

You know? It's fine. It's not going to happen. It will all be fine.
You will never read this and that's how I know everything will be fine.

I'm not just going to live with it. Because no.

Learn To Deal

Learn not to speak your mind so often
for the world is not ready for it

Learn to cherish on the inside
and reflect on the importance of "belonging"

Learn to fake the feelings you can't feel
for the word "fake" exists for a reason.

Learn to be someone else from time to time
and keep your true self for whoever deserves it

For it is not worth your while
having to wait for people to adapt to you.

Learn to contain your tears
and turn them into glitter covered monsters.

Learn to deal with everyone and everything
For that is what at least half of life is truly made of.

About the Teachers' Pack

The reason we wrote this book

is simpler than it looks

To guide you as a teacher and

help you getting through

Overwhelming?

Just a trend?

Nay!

Hear me out I say

Consider all the learning

that could take place today

So, let go of the old

Embrace what's here for you

A mix and match of skills and tips

And values in it too!

Don't let students moan

You've got to make them work

It's hard to do

We know it's true

That's why we wrote this book!

To give you a new insight

and transform students' minds

Self assesment's clue

Reflecting is our rule

to get to your objectives

and have evidence as proof

Identify, Create.

Brainstorm. Evaluate

Judge your own performance and

find a way to improve

There is no going back

Enjoy your teachers' pack

And feel free to make comments

You know where we are

I am not allowed.

I am not allowed to feel anything about anyone who doesn't make me feel the way you do. 

So, it might not be you the person who was meant for me. 

But I am sure you are the person who made me realize where I needed to set the bar. 

And in 7 years when we're tired of each other and we end up being as boring as everyone is for me right now. 

I will still love the fact that meeting you shaped who I wanted to be. 

"I adore you" he said.

Well... I adore you too.

No one had ever said this to me before.

I  don't think I responded too well to it though.

I just feel so sad everytime you have to go.

I don't think you know.

More importantly.  I don't want you to know.

I know you don't think about me that way. I just know you don't.

I don't think about you that way either. I don't.

...Most of the time...

But every know and then

This excitement/sadness just feels confusing.

It makes me physically feel stuff.

Like that drop of cold sweat running down your spine

Just now I realized it's been so long since the last time I felt my heart skip a beat.

Since I felt anything at all.

I will not ruin this. This will not be ruined by feelings and idiotic thoughts.

This will  not be something that only lasts for a few months.

I freaking need you in my life.

I might need you more than I´ve needed any other friend or boyfriend

Yes,  I know it's selfish and unfair

Yet, honestly, I don't care.

I need to be who I am when I think of you.

I like myself better with you.

And this is the first time in my life I've had to keep feelings to myself.

It's the hardest thing to do. How do people do it everyday?

I keep telling myself that when we meet in real life we're gonna hate each other.

I guess that's what I do to protect myself against dissappointment.

I generally like being a woman but why do I have to make such a big fuss about everything?

Perhaps I should take another dose my dog's tranquilizers.

Cuz' look how well THAT went...

It Sucks.

It sucks to think that I have finally let you go.
I've found a way to live without you.
I don't need you. Probably I never did.
But realizing it...makes me feel empty.
Like everything that happened before today didn't matter.

There have been days when I don't think about you at all.
But deep inside me it feels like I'm betraying you.
Or betraying myself.

But I don't even feel like calling you.
Maybe I should.
So that I hear from you how nothing has changed.
So that I remember that with you nothing will ever change.

You will be you. I will be me. We'll be better each day.
Individually.
Not together.

We're not better together.
I'm not better together.

I'm better on my own.
And honestly? It sucks.

Give me love.

No puedes trascender antes de transformar.

Y todo el amor que quieras dar a alguien...

Que crees que puedes dar. 

No funciona. 

Por qué? 

Creo  que es porque no le llega a esa persona. O sea le llega pero Un parte de su alma le dice que es un amor roto. 

Esta semana.

No.
Me rehúso a no entender que me pasa.
Y por qué de pronto parece que tuve un día pésimo cuando no es así.
Me rehúso a sentirme mal sin razón. Y a vivir así.

Quizás sea verdad que el trabajo más duro es el que se hace en un mismo.
Y esa sea otra razón por la que odio el gimnasio jaja

Dicen que es difícil poner la primera piedra.
Falso. Si sabes dónde ponerla no deberías tener problema.

Es fácil poner las primeras ...15  ó 20.

Poner todas las demás... Eso es lo que me parece difícil.
Cuando uno se entera de que el entusiasmo es un recurso natural no renovable.

Junto con la educación y el liderazgo.

Porque...uno se cansa de ser entusiasta solo.
De mostrar educación a quién no la tiene.
De liderar seres siempre estáticos.

O siempre indecisos. Como yo. Que nunca saben que tienen que hacer.

Es por eso que voy a hacer aquí una reflexión de esta semana. Eso es como la primera piedra.

1. Esta semana no lloré ni una vez. 

Pensé que lloraría cuando estaba guardando la ropa que le había prestado. Que me devolvió después de 4 años. Que no olía a él como pensé que haría. Y quise llorar porque quería que oliera a él. Pero le dije a mis células que no. Que no había ningún olor memorable. Nada nuevo. Todo igual.

No lloré pero tampoco pude dormir en toda la noche.

Eso significa algo, supongo.
No importa que signifique. No tenemos tiempo para eso.

2. Puse mi súper estudio.
Es Más. Voy a poner la foto. Para... a ver si así me dan ganas de hacer mi blog como antes. Todo nice.

Eso no es una blanket. Es Kira.

Ajá. Y pinté la cajita esa para la sala de TV.

Que no se me olviden los personajes que se me ocurrieron. La cabra, el zorrillo, y fed up something.
Y todo lo demás. Los sueños de Iain. El elefante en el metro. Los mini ponies que caminan hacia una carreta gigante. Nota. Tener cuidado que no se vea mucho como fan art.

3. Las juntas de cosas de la escuela estuvieron bien. Comí con Graciela y Oscar. Les llevé donas. En el otro lugar. Me gustaron los profesores nuevos. Hablan súper bien. El training estuvo padre.

A lo mejor me molesta que se acabo el training y yo quería que fuera más largo. 

Eso es buena idea. Voy a pensar las cosas que podrían estarme molestando.
(Chale...Soy la más ñoña de entre las ñoñas del mundo)

A lo mejor en el fondo me molesta que me quieran emparejar con alguien.
Que tendría que decir. "No!. Déjenme en paz. No quiero a nadie. No necesito a nadie. Nunca Jamás."
O me molestó que la gente tiene que calificarlo o descalificarlo antes que yo sepa si me... late o no.

O quizás me molesta de lo que se habla en la casa porque me hace adelantarme a un futuro ineludible.
Me molesta sentir que tengo que irme de la casa. Que tengo que querer irme porque en el fondo. Soy muy floja. Y ya hice mi súper sala de tele y mi súper estudio.


4. Cuando no podía dormir y me encontré con Iain. Me sentí mucho mejor. De verdad no quería que se fuera. Es decir, no esperaba que se quedara... pero ojalá hubiera podido hacerlo por que me tranquilizó hablar con el. Me hizo sentir que no estaba sola.

Qué etiqueta será bueno para esta entrada?
Vamos a comenzar un sistema de etiquetas. Si. Me gustan las etiquetas y voy a usarlas de ahora en adelante.
No voy a... etiquetar las entradas anteriores por más que eso afecte a mi OCD.
Es una cosa nueva.

So I guess writing about everything and nothing all at once...Does make me feel better.
The way to let go of things...might be posting them here.

O cantar como la de Frozen.

Consuelo

Las estalagmitas que carcomen a las gorgonas cuando nadie las está viendo. Buscando el asesino inocuo de abolengo. Asesino propio intimo de felicidad y de demonios. Las gorgonas tienen otro nombre algunos días de la semana. Los días que están en pasado-pretérito como tu y yo cuando estábamos.

El desorden y la humedad. Ronquidos indelebles de que el apocalipsis busca consuelo. Consuelo como el que tienen las señoritas cuando se ponen desodorante 2 o 3 veces al día en las axilas.

Consuelo como fingir todo el tiempo que soy igual sin ti que contigo.

Consuelo como revolcarse el tibio lodo de lo incierto. Y hacerse Harakiri todos los días en cámara lenta y con un palillo de dientes. De esos que también sirven pa la botana.

Como estos.

Y ya luego en la noche nos desangramos un poquito y lo olvidamos al día siguiente. Como cuando te cuentan un chiste que es noctabulamente correcto.