Ayer, mi cuerpo me dijo:
“güey! es que yo ya no entiendo que pex contigo. Unos días me das un chingo de comida y luego te pones a hacer tu ayuno intermitente o no se que madres. Otros días me das puro jugo de zanahoria.... luego me das puro aceite de coco y aguacate. Es mucha incertidumbre para mí. Me estresa. ¿Tú sabes lo que es no saber si el día que sigue va a ser de mucha comida o poquita o qué ?”
Aja!! Pero yo estoy tratando de hacer lo que es mejor para ti pero no pinches puedo porque ya no entiendo si es mejor comer cada 3 horas o hacer ayunos de 16 horas o comer una dieta balanceada o si de plano los carbohidratos son el diablo o que...
Hasta me compré un platito de bebé para asegurarme que no iba a comer más de lo que quepa en el platito.
Pero pues luego pensé y dije... Chale... eso ¿estará bien? O sea se supone que es lo que debe comer un bebé, ¡no un adulto!
Y entonces ahora estoy PEOR, porque no sólo tengo miedo de estar comiendo de más sino que también tengo miedo de estar comiendo de menos y que eso nos haga daño también.
Aunque ahora que lo escribo... güey, ¿Cómo podría hacerte daño que comiera menos de lo que debo? ¿No ves que tengo reservas de grasa POR TODOS LADOS? ¿Puedes usar eso? ¿Sabes como usar eso?....
Puta pues si sabía pero ya estoy igual que tu...
pero a la vez, siempre que descargo un “Menú” de Keto o lo que sea...
LO QUE PONEN AHÍ ES COMO EL DOBLE DE LO QUE COMO EN LA VIDA REAL
¿Entonces el punto es que tengo que comer más y no menos?
¡PERO AYER QUE ME COMÍ UNA CARNE DE HAMBURGUESA SENTÍA QUE HABÍA COMIDO MUCHÍSIMO!
Ojalá existiera un botón de RESET.
Neta siento que tenemos que hacer las paces.
Mi cerebro que nunca deja de pensar en calorías, carbohidratos, grasas buenas y malas y etc
M corazón que piensa que la comida es sinónimo de cariño
Y mi cuerpo que es quizás el más confundido de los tres.
Bueno mira...
Por lo pronto, quiero agradecerte todo lo qué haces por mi. Y decirte, que si intento todas estas dietas diferentes no es porque no te quiera. Es porque quiero que estemos bien y encontremos un balance y podamos quedarnos ahí y que los dos estemos tranquilos.
Estoy tratando de encontrar una formula que nos funcione. A veces me preocupo porque pienso que ya la teníamos...
Venga, vamos a intentar esto del Keto y el LCHF y si no nos funciona bien, nos regresamos a lo de antes, ¿si?
Perdóname por lastimarte y no ser paciente contigo. Sé que necesitas más tiempo del que te doy y muchas veces lo olvido. Prometo no cambiarte la jugada por lo menos en 1 mes. ¿Está bien?
Esto está buenísimo porque "La web" se encarga de guardar las cosas que uno piensa. No gasta espacio en mi ordenador... Ni en mi cabeza.
In perpetual transition
I've traded this blog
For a new one
That looks into the future
And not the past
I'm surprised to find
That it took me about two months to come and write here
Cause we all know I only write here when I'm not feeling like myself
So
The less the better.
Things have been good
Too good, in a way
Because there are some days
Like today
In which I look back a little longer than I should
Long enough to remember
That the dinosaur is still there
And it's still my dinosaur
And while
Anyone who read this would just say
Pffft, don't think about it, just enjoy yourself!
Yeah I've been doing that for a month and a half
I've been doing it so well that today I felt that none of this was real
All of this is doomed to end
I felt
Like I was condemned to never be fully happy
To live eternally "in transition"
And, while transitions aren't bad
They're tiring sometimes
Feels a little like all this time I've been keeping a balancing act.
But, as we now know
It's ok to feel sad sometimes
It's ok to feel upset sometimes
There's always tomorrow
And it will be better
Because Siri says the sun will be shining
And everything's better
With a little sun in it
For a new one
That looks into the future
And not the past
I'm surprised to find
That it took me about two months to come and write here
Cause we all know I only write here when I'm not feeling like myself
So
The less the better.
Things have been good
Too good, in a way
Because there are some days
Like today
In which I look back a little longer than I should
Long enough to remember
That the dinosaur is still there
And it's still my dinosaur
And while
Anyone who read this would just say
Pffft, don't think about it, just enjoy yourself!
Yeah I've been doing that for a month and a half
I've been doing it so well that today I felt that none of this was real
All of this is doomed to end
I felt
Like I was condemned to never be fully happy
To live eternally "in transition"
And, while transitions aren't bad
They're tiring sometimes
Feels a little like all this time I've been keeping a balancing act.
But, as we now know
It's ok to feel sad sometimes
It's ok to feel upset sometimes
There's always tomorrow
And it will be better
Because Siri says the sun will be shining
And everything's better
With a little sun in it
Skin
I need to take off my skin
Cause it doesn’t fit anymore
It’s either too tight
Or too big
It’s the wrong color
And has a weird shape
It doesn’t fit properly anymore
Like it used to
Like it did when you were here with me
And in those days
If I ever complained about
The awkwardness of my skin
You had a way to pull it a little here and there
And say “Here, now it’s better, you see?”
And it was better indeed
My skin can only fit with you in it.
Cause it doesn’t fit anymore
It’s either too tight
Or too big
It’s the wrong color
And has a weird shape
It doesn’t fit properly anymore
Like it used to
Like it did when you were here with me
And in those days
If I ever complained about
The awkwardness of my skin
You had a way to pull it a little here and there
And say “Here, now it’s better, you see?”
And it was better indeed
My skin can only fit with you in it.
I can't breathe without me
I can't breathe
Lately
And I know
It's because
I've spent too long far from myself
And far from you of course
But mostly
Far from myself
My chest hurts all the time
Because of all the things I can't control
Exist all the time
It feels inescapable
I need
To have a safe place
To be myself
And drink green juice
And to be alone
So I'm not lonely
Anymore.
Lately
And I know
It's because
I've spent too long far from myself
And far from you of course
But mostly
Far from myself
My chest hurts all the time
Because of all the things I can't control
Exist all the time
It feels inescapable
I need
To have a safe place
To be myself
And drink green juice
And to be alone
So I'm not lonely
Anymore.
Ignorance is bliss
Quiero volver a ser una persona ignorante
Y desayunar la mitad de un sándwich
Con jamón de pavo, queso panela, jitomate y mayonesa light.
Quiero tomar un capuchino a las 11 am.
Con Leche light
Quiero comer un caldo de pollo con verduras
O un caldo tlalpeño
O una ensalada
O maybe maaaaaaybe una pechuga asada
Quiero comer un yogurt a las 5 pm
Quiero volver a cenar una quesadilla
O dos salchichas con mostaza
O un jitomate con aceite y vinagre...
Women vs Man Child
I am my own multitude
Thousands of different woman reside within me
I am the strong independent woman
I am the tiny helpless woman
I am the woman who speaks her mind
I am the woman who keeps to herself
I am a source of confort
I am a source of conflict
I breathe fire
I inhale fire
I turn it into water as I dissolve myself in it
I am the woman who chooses to put her family above all
And also the woman who puts herself first
I am the rage within me and the joy I can cause
I am the laughter the cursing the swelling the
Woman who’s done
I am a woman
While you are but a man child
You are a man child who knows no better but to savage and hurt and kill
And your mind is too small to comprehend the world
and your eyes are too narrow to even see it
But I am not one woman but all the women in the world
And I am done being afraid
We are done being afraid
Thousands of different woman reside within me
I am the strong independent woman
I am the tiny helpless woman
I am the woman who speaks her mind
I am the woman who keeps to herself
I am a source of confort
I am a source of conflict
I breathe fire
I inhale fire
I turn it into water as I dissolve myself in it
I am the woman who chooses to put her family above all
And also the woman who puts herself first
I am the rage within me and the joy I can cause
I am the laughter the cursing the swelling the
Woman who’s done
I am a woman
While you are but a man child
You are a man child who knows no better but to savage and hurt and kill
And your mind is too small to comprehend the world
and your eyes are too narrow to even see it
But I am not one woman but all the women in the world
And I am done being afraid
We are done being afraid
Lonely
I am never as lonely
As I am when I'm with you
When I can't even be alone with myself
And enjoy my own company
When I'm with you
I have to force myself to be someone I'm not
I have to pretend
All the time
I try and be invisible
I try and not exist
When I'm with you
I'm scared to breathe the wrong way
You probably feel the same when you're around me
Yet
We are doomed to pretend
We need each other
And like each other
And love each other
Until it's all over
And, as it's been said before...
It ain't over till it's over
This is exhausting
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