I feel like I'm not feeling
Like my eyes hurt and my patience just went to Idaho and everyone can notice.
And I cannot be the one who mispronounces SALT.
I cannot mispronounce anything.
But the feeling I can't feel
Lies within him
Everything does.
And I'm sick of me not being able to get a grip.
To enjoy the moment.
To remember all my moments are only mine to remember.
And no one else's.
I can't depend on him forever
But I want to.
I don't know how to talk to you
Without touching every hidden nerve in your body.
All the imaginary synapses I create
In your Head.
In mine.
And in the distance.
The gap that I feel that's never actually there.
Until I create it.
And I can't live like this.
Depending on imaginary things to not appear in my mind.
And waiting half the time without knowing what I'm waiting for.
I fear what I feel.
I dread what you feel.
It's exhausting. I'm exhausted.
If you don't let me in
Am I supposed to let you out?
To let you hide in whatever the hell's going on that I don't know?
One is entitled to have secrets.
Things only you are supposed to know.
But this things get me to.
Por que eres tan pendeja Natalia??
Por que tienes que sentir todo todo el tiempo con tantos pinches colores
como si te hubieras drogado de la manera incorrecta.
Y aceptar que cuando no pasa nada no pasa nada.
Sometimes I even feel like we are not at all compatible.
And then you hold my hand and it all goes away.